Fathers are human

Father's Day was this past sunday. As I reflected on my experience as a father, I remembered how I failed, how I struggled, how I came up so very short in raising my children. I reflected on my father and how, when I was a child, he was my hero. In my eyes, he was all that a man, and a dad, should be. I wanted to be exactly like him when I grew up. As I compare myself to my father now, I see clearly our shared experiences. We were, and still are, humans. Neither of us had been a father before we looked upon our first child. Neither of us had a clue what to do. Love for our children came very easily. But expressing that love to our children was a miserable struggle. We both wanted so desperately for our children to be safe, and to grow into healthy adults. But neither of us knew how to make that happen.

As the years have passed, we have both dealt with the pain of not having given our children all we believed we could. I've forgiven myself. In that forgiveness, I have not only found peace, but an opportunity. An opportunity to share my failures with fathers and mothers who are in a position to make a difference in their young children's' lives. My children are all adults now. They are living their lives and following their own paths. What I can do now, right now, is set an example (the best I know how) of what a good human should be. I believe that what children need, more than anything, is adults in their lives setting good examples. They listen very little to instruction. But they watch, mimic, and mirror the adults in their lives. I can't go back in time. But if I could go back, back to the formative years of my children, I would have worked on myself. I would have let them see me struggle. I would have shown them the way to improve themselves by giving them the opportunity to see their daddy do it.

Dads... moms...

They are watching you. Are they watching you grow? They want to be like you. What do they see? I wanted my children to love themselves, but they saw a dad who did not love himself. What are your children seeing in you? They are watching. What do they see?